Pastor's Desk

Psalm 67:6, God, even our own God.

It is strange how little use we make of the spiritual blessings which God gives us, but it is stranger still how little use we make of God Himself. Though He is "our own God," we apply ourselves but little to Him, and ask but little of Him. How seldom do we ask counsel at the hands of the Lord! How often do we go about our business, without seeking His guidance! In our troubles how constantly do we strive to bear our burdens ourselves, instead of casting them upon the Lord, that He may sustain us! This is not because we may not, for the Lord seems to say, "I am thine, soul, come and make use of me as thou wilt; thou mayst freely come to my store, and the oftener the more welcome." It is our own fault if we make not free with the riches of our God. Then, since thou hast such a friend, and He invites thee, draw from Him daily. Never want whilst thou hast a God to go to; never fear or faint whilst thou hast God to help thee; go to thy treasure and take whatever thou needest-there is all that thou canst want. Learn the divine skill of making God all things to thee. He can supply thee with all, or, better still, He can be to thee instead of all. Let me urge thee, then, to make use of thy God. Make use of Him in prayer. Go to Him often, because He is thy God. O, wilt thou fail to use so great a privilege? Fly to Him, tell Him all thy wants. Use Him constantly by faith at all times. If some dark providence has beclouded thee, use thy God as a "sun;" if some strong enemy has beset thee, find in Jehovah a "shield," for He is a sun and shield to His people. If thou hast lost thy way in the mazes of life, use Him as a "guide," for He will direct thee. Whatever thou art, and wherever thou art, remember God is just what thou wantest, and just where thou wantest, and that He can do all thou wantest.

“But if you bite and devour one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another!” (Galatians 5:15).

Why is it that Christians attack each other?

IMHO, there are a few reasons:

One reason Christians attach each other is because they feel that they have been hurt and that hurt justifies their attack. This is really a form of self-centeredness, pride, and a lack of faith.

First, self feels a right to react, to strike back at those who we feel have wronged us. After all, they deserve it.

Second, we feel that we are (in a sense) acting as God’s agent in executing punishment; we are His instrument of righteousness. This is nothing more than pride, plain and simple. While it is true that God does indeed use men to accomplish His work, His word is clear: “‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord.” (Hebrews 10:30). Vengeance is the prerogative of God alone. Still, there is something within us that feels the need to right every wrong. Just who’s standard of right a wrong is in question here.

Third, when Christians attack one another it is a lack of faith. The Word clearly spells out what is to be the conduct and attitude of the believer:

Matthew 5:43-48, “You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so? Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.” The problem is we like to hate our enemies and love those who love us. When was the last time you told your enemies that you loved him and that you were praying for him? The truth is that we would like to see him die a slow and painful death.

Hebrews 10:34, “for you had compassion on me in my chains, and joyfully accepted the plundering of your goods, knowing that you have a better and an enduring possession for yourselves in heaven.” We place an inordinate value on stuff; and we don’t like people messing with our stuff. So we lock it up behind closed doors. When someone takes our stuff, we get angry. Have you ever heard of anyone joyfully accepting the plundering of their goods?

1 Corinthians 6:7-8, “Now therefore, it is already an utter failure for you that you go to law against one another. Why do you not rather accept wrong ? Why do you not rather let yourselves be cheated? No, you yourselves do wrong and cheat, and you do these things to your brethren!” Now this is a big one – should Christians sue one another? Well, from the perspective of the Apostle, there should be at least someone in the Christian community that can provide a wise answer that will satisfy the parties involved. It is a shame and an indictment that all too often there is not.

Now none of this means that wrongs should not be righted or that we should leave our homes unlocked or that there is never an acceptable time to go to a court of law. (We do have an habit of going to extremes, don’t we?). But what it does mean is that we should behave like Christians.

Before we lash out, perhaps we should consider the example of God:

The desired result of the longsuffering of God towards men is salvation, Romans 2:4, “Or do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance, and longsuffering , not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance?”

Your salvation is a direct result of the longsuffering of God, II Peter 3:15, “and consider that the longsuffering of our Lord is salvation.”

It was the wicked servant who, after having been forgiven an immeasurable debt, went out and had his fellow servant cast into prison for $25. (Matthew 18, The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant). Perhaps we should consider what we have been forgiven before we demand our due from others?

What is longsuffering?

The Greek word makrothumia (mak-roth-oo-mee'-ah) means, forbearance, patience, longsuffering (makros, long, thumos, temper).

God has demonstrated His longsuffering in history. He God kept back the flood 120 years while Noah built the ark; also Jonah cried to Ninevea, “40 days and then destruction..”, yet they repented and put off the judgment of God for 100 years.

The Christian is to seek to model the longsuffering of God:

Colossians 3:12, “Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering.” This means that we must make the decision to be longsuffering.

I Corinthians 13:7, Love, “bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” Love endures all things…

Ephesians 4:1-3, “I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” Here longsuffering is associated with humility. Pride hinders our ability to be longsuffering; only when we are willing to humble ourselves can we begin to be longsuffering.

How can I be longsuffering?

Well, there is good news and there is bad news. The bad news is, you can’t. It is not within our abilities, try as we might, to be longsuffering. The flesh demands it’s due, and the flesh dies hard.

However, the good news is that God has made a way for longsuffering to grow in our lives, by His Spirit:

Galatians 5:22-23, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering , kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.”

Colossians 1:11, “strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power, for all patience and longsuffering with joy.”

If, and I mean if, we are to cease from biting and devouring one another, then we must surrender the hurts and wrongs of the past, forgiving one another, and allowing God to right the wrongs of the past. We must place into the hands of God those who have wronged us and leave their fate in His hands. Like it or not, He loves them and died for their sins as well. And just as with us, He is longsuffering towards them because He loves them.

There is within Christianity entirely too much fighting with one another. Historically, the most successful attacks against the Christian faith have come from within, not without, the church. The result is that we have divided ourselves, and have been a bad witness to the world.

So what is the real source of attack?

Jesus identified the true source of attack as Satan:

John 8:44, “You are of your father the devil, and the desires of your father you want to do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own resources, for he is a liar and the father of it.” Interesting that here Jesus is speaking to the religious who were attempting to justify their behavior through the twisting of the command (Law) of God.

Paul warns us not to be ignorant of Satan’s methods, II Corinthians 2:10-11, “Now whom you forgive anything, I also forgive. For if indeed I have forgiven anything, I have forgiven that one for your sakes in the presence of Christ, lest Satan should take advantage of us; for we are not ignorant of his devices.” Interesting that here the apostle links forgiveness with an awareness of Satan’s devices. Clearly one method Satan used to trap Christians is unforgiveness. When we refuse to forgive one another, we have fallen into one of Satan’s devices. The real danger is a contaminating of our lives with bitterness, Hebrews 12:15, “looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled.” Bitterness towards those who have wronged us will eventually poison everyone of our relationships, given enough time.

I have said it before: If the Devil keeps us fighting among ourselves, then he has won and Christ has lost.

How then can we overcome the real source of attack?

“…For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that He might destroy the works of the devil.” (I John 3:8). Jesus has overcome the enemy; we overcome in Him, I John 5:4: “For whatever is born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world — our faith.” Only our faith in Jesus, allowing the work of His Spirit in our lives, can we overcome the real source of attack and stop attacking each other.

Thursday, April 10th, we held funeral services for Lois at Fellowship Bible Church. It was a wonderful time of remembering her life, love, and generosity. The church turned out in force, cooking for the meal afterward, making sure everything was just right. I am truly grateful for those I have the privilege to pastor – when it comes to reaching out to people, they are the best.

For the members of Fellowship Bible Church: Thank you for your kindness, your generosity, your fellowship in the Lord. May God continue to bless you in all that you do and you seek to know and serve Him.

Lois will be missed. She touched many lives.

The answer to this question has puzzled men since the beginning of time. Job asked this question; and really, got no answer. His “comforters” tried to answer it, and got into big time trouble with God: “My wrath is aroused against you and your two friends, for you have not spoken of Me what is right, as My servant Job has. Now therefore, take for yourselves seven bulls and seven rams, go to My servant Job, and offer up for yourselves a burnt offering; and My servant Job shall pray for you. For I will accept him, lest I deal with you according to your folly; because you have not spoken of Me what is right, as My servant Job has.” (Job 42:7-8, NKJV).

In light of that I will offer no pat answers, for while there have been plenty, they have always been wrong or at least offered in the wrong spirit.

My daughter, Rachel, writes of her persistent illness (a chemical imbalance, diagnosed as Bipolar II) that causes her debilitating depression. (www.notesfromthewell.blogspot.com). Her mother and I watch as she suffers, praying for her and encouraging her. I suspect that her condition is hereditary as there has and is in my family a long history of depression.

I also struggled / continue to struggle, with depression. As a Christian and especially as a Pastor, I often suffered in shame, wrongly thinking that Christians and Pastors are to “have it all together;” however, I have since come to the realization that my understanding was somewhat naive and shallow.

In his book, Lectures to My Students, Charles Spurgeon writes of “The Ministers Fainting Fits.” His insight is based upon his own experience with depression. (Imagine my shock to discover that the “Prince of Preachers,” the great Charles Spurgeon, suffered from depression!). Spurgeon writes: “Knowing by most painful experience what deep depression of spirit means, being visited therewith at seasons by no means few or far between, I thought it might be consolatory to some of my brethren if I gave my thoughts thereon, that younger men might not fancy that some strange thing had happened to them when they became for a season possessed by melancholy; and that sadder men might know that one upon who the sun has shone right joyously did not always walk in the light.” Depression is not a mark of a lack of spirituality or immaturity; no one could hardly accuse Spurgeon of that; rather, it is a very real condition that is brought about either spiritually or physically (chemical imbalance of the brain) resulting it periods of thoughts of hopelessness and despair.

Spurgeon goes on: “Good men are promised tribulation in this world, and ministers may expect a larger share than others, that they may learn sympathy with the Lord’s suffering people, and so, may be fitting shepherds of an ailing flock.” But is this always the case with minister’s and churches? My daughter Rachel writes: “I think first, we need to seek to make ourselves and our churches welcoming for those that are mentally ill, or otherwise suffering. Church should be a place where people can share their struggles in these areas without fear of prejudice or judgment, but so often it isn’t. We are all so busy pretending to have it all together out of fear of what others will think that we never realize that everyone is struggling with something! We can only minister to the ill and struggling if we know of their condition!”

If good men are promised tribulation in this world and ministers may expect a larger share that others, then why do we not hear of this more from the pulpit? I believe that the answers are right in front of us:

• Pride; we don’t want to admit that we struggle with anything. In the church today at large there is the tendency to portray an image that has never existed in orthodox Christianity. Paul struggled with depression, II Corinthians 1:8-11 (NKJV): “For we do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, of our trouble which came to us in Asia: that we were burdened beyond measure, above strength, so that we despaired even of life. Yes, we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead, who delivered us from so great a death, and does deliver us; in whom we trust that He will still deliver us, you also helping together in prayer for us, that thanks may be given by many persons on our behalf for the gift granted to us through many.” David struggled with depression, Psalms 42:5 (NKJV): “Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me?” Even Jesus our saviour struggled with sorrow and grief, as the prophet described Him as, “…A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.” (Isaiah 53:3, NKJV). Are pastor’s better that Paul? Or David? Or Jesus? I think not.

• Fear; we are afraid that if we are honest, people will think less of us (and that is symptomatic of pride as well). The sad truth is that there are some (I’d like to think that it is not most, but I am not sure, so I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt) who would indeed think less of us if we were to be honest with them; so, we put on a false face (hypocrisy) and move on as if nothing is wrong, all the time dying inside for someone we can talk to.

Spurgeon goes on: “…the wonder in many cases is…how some ministers keep at their work at all, and still wear a smile upon their countenances.” It’s easy; we’ve got good at fooling one another. Our greetings betray us: “How are you?” “Fine. How are you?” “Good.” Good, great, never a struggle, never a sorrow, always on top…yea, right.

Rachel writes: “I know that sometimes, making it through the day seems like an impossible feat. I know what it's like:

• to look around your house, see it in complete disarray, but just not have the energy or real inclination to do anything about it.
• to no longer care about the things you used to care about.
• to want something too desperately but somehow not be able to take the steps you must to make it happen.
• to just want to turn off. to lay down and sleep forever.
• to feel like there's a monster inside of you that could come out at anytime.
• to be afraid that you will get angry and say things you don't mean.
• to be frustrated to the point of tears over something you know logically is stupid.
• to be afraid you will embarrass yourself with your illness and the behavior that comes with it.

But, I also know there has to be healing for us. Through meds or through miracles. God's just shown Himself too faithful to me to believe otherwise.”

Rachel is right: God is faithful; for whatever reason, whatever purpose, He has allowed it; He has a purpose and He is working behind the scenes, which is often why we cannot see Him working on our behalf.

What are His purposes? Again Spurgeon writes: “This depression comes over me whenever the Lord is preparing a larger blessing for my ministry; the cloud is black before it breaks, and overshadows before it yields its deluge of mercy.” For Spurgeon, depression was followed by times of great blessing and elation. This is how Rachel’s doctor described her depression: “Bipolar II is characterized by extreme lows (depression) and milder highs (mania). She also explained that mania can manifest in ways that do not feel good: anxiety, inability to focus on tasks, irritability, agitation, distraction and more. She said that people with bipolar II can be very accomplished and high functioning when level or manic, but are paralyzed when depressed.”

Once, while Charles Spurgeon was speaking, a lunatic jumped up and yelled, “fire;” in the resulting panic to exit the building, 4 people were killed. Spurgeon laid in bed for a week, overcome by severe depression. Only when his deacons came and laid hands on him, was he able to rise and resume his duties.

And yet in all this there is hope, for there in the midst of our suffering is our Saviour. Spurgeon writes: “The Lord is revealed in the backside of the desert, while His servant keepeth the sheep and waits in solitary awe. The low valley leads to the towering mountain, defeat prepares for victory. The raven is sent forth before the dove. The darkest hour of the night precedes the day-dawn. The mariners go down to the depths, but the next wave makes them mount to the heaven; their soul is melted because of trouble before He bringeth them to their desired haven.”

Rachel writes: “One verse consistently sticks out to me during this time: From that time many of His disciples went back and walked with Him no more. Then Jesus said to the twelve, “Do you also want to go away?” But Simon Peter answered Him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. (John 6:66-68). Peter’s words have never felt so real to me as in this season – only You have the words of life! (Sure, the verse doesn’t say “only”, but I think it’s pretty clearly implied.) When I am completely without hope, when all seems lost: Jesus remains. Even when I am not sure He will ever change my circumstance, where else am I going to go? Will the world save me from my sickness? Will gratifying my flesh give me hope? There is nothing else that can touch the pain I’m in. Nothing else that can make me stand. This conviction is not from me. I have no willpower or persistence. Only the Holy Spirit in me has given me the strength to desperately cling to the One with the words of life.”

Spurgeon writes: “When David returned to Ziklag and found the city burned, goods stolen, wives carried off, and his troops ready to stone him, we read, ‘he encouraged himself in his God’; and well was it for him that he could do so, for he would then have fainted if he had not believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.”

There is hope when all appears hopeless; God is there even when it appears that He is not; God is faithful even when it appears that He is not; God cares even when it appears that He does not. “For we walk by faith , not by sight.” (II Corinthians 5:7, NKJV).

If we are to properly deal with difficult times they we must learn to see the invisible: “Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.” (II Corinthians 4:16-18, NKJV).

Rachel writes: “In all honesty, mental illness sucks. I hate it. I trust the Lord through it, but sometimes it's because I have no other option. If I don't trust the Lord in this, I am really screwed. I struggle, y'all. I’m not very good at dealing with this. I don't do the "right" thing all the time. I don't have a whole lot of joy in this most of the time. How much of that is illness and how much of it is my sinful nature? I can't say. But I don't care really. I’m waiting on the Lord and giving Him everything I've got, even when it's not much at all. At least it's honest.”


Spurgeon concludes by saying: “Continue with double earnestness to serve your Lord when no visible result is before you. Any simpleton can follow the narrow path in the light; faith’s rare wisdom enables us to march on in the dark with infallible accuracy, since she places her hand in that of her Great Guide…in nothing let us turn aside from the path which the divine call has urged us to pursue. Come fare or come foul, the pulpit is our watch-tower, and the ministry our warfare; be it ours, when we cannot see the face of our God, to trust under THE SHADOW OF HIS WINGS.”

My hope is that this opens up a dialog between those who suffer and those who are supposed to minister to them. I don’t pretend to understand my daughter’s struggle, but I love her. You don’t throw people away just because they are broken. You love them by being there for them and you pray for them. Isn’t that what Jesus did?

"And He went a little farther, and fell on His face, and prayed." Matthew 26:39, NKJV

There are several instructive features in our Saviour's prayer in His hour of trial. It was lonely prayer. He withdrew even from His three favoured disciples. Believer, be much in solitary prayer, especially in times of trial. Family prayer, social prayer, prayer in the Church, will not suffice, these are very precious, but the best beaten spice will smoke in your censer in your private devotions, where no ear hears but God's. It was humble prayer. Luke says He knelt, but another evangelist says He "fell on His face." Where, then, must be THY place, thou humble servant of the great Master? What dust and ashes should cover thy head! Humility gives us good foot-hold in prayer. There is no hope of prevalence with God unless we abase ourselves that He may exalt us in due time. It was filial prayer. "Abba, Father." You will find it a stronghold in the day of trial to plead your adoption. You have no rights as a subject, you have forfeited them by your treason; but nothing can forfeit a child's right to a father's protection. Be not afraid to say, "My Father, hear my cry." Observe that it was persevering prayer. He prayed three times. Cease not until you prevail. Be as the importunate widow, whose continual coming earned what her first supplication could not win. Continue in prayer, and watch in the same with thanksgiving. Lastly, it was the prayer of resignation. "Nevertheless, not as I will, but as thou wilt." Yield, and God yields. Let it be as God wills, and God will determine for the best. Be thou content to leave thy prayer in his hands, who knows when to give, and how to give, and what to give, and what to withhold. So pleading, earnestly, importunately, yet with humility and resignation, thou shalt surely prevail.

Charles Spurgeon

Matthew 23:11: “But he who is greatest among you shall be your servant.”

Is there a greater calling to which men can aspire than that of a servant? This is what our Saviour modeled for us, “just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.” (Matthew 20:28).

Yet it is a sad commentary on the church today that the overwhelming majority are served by the minority. Men simply do not understand the value of being a servant.

Men desire greatness; men desire respect; men desire power; men desire worship, really. Men want the admiration of others. Was this not the desire of the Pharisees? “But all their works they do to be seen by men. They make their phylacteries broad and enlarge the borders of their garments. They love the best places at feasts, the best seats in the synagogues, greetings in the marketplaces, and to be called by men, 'Rabbi, Rabbi.'” (Matthew 23:5-7).

It is interesting that the Religious Leaders of Jesus day, in seeking greatness, respect, power, worship…were actually the object of His constant denunciation and rebuke? “…You are those who justify yourselves before men, but God knows your hearts. For what is highly esteemed among men is an abomination in the sight of God.” (Luke 16:15). Now the context here is dealing with the love of money; but isn’t the love and pursuit of money just another avenue towards gaining greatness, respect, power, worship? Jesus went so far as to question the faith of those who seek honor among men, John 5:44: “How can you believe, who receive honor from one another, and do not seek the honor that comes from the only God?” How can one truthfully profess faith in God while all the time seeking honor from men? The answer is, according to Jesus: He can’t. You are either seeking honor from men, or you are seeking honor from God.

“If anyone serves Me, let him follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also. If anyone serves Me, him My Father will honor.” (John 12:26). With this statement, Jesus forever qualified the source of true honor: Honor from the Father. And he forever qualified how that honor is attained: in His service serving others.

Now Jesus himself modeled servanthood for us, lest we should misunderstand the true nature of servanthood, Philippians 2:6-8: “who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross.” So, true servanthood is exercised in giving oneself for others, even, if necessary, at the cost of one’s own life. Wow! A pretty powerful statement. How can one justify making such a statement? Only by quoting the words of Jesus: “Then He said to them all, ‘If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me.’” (Luke 9:23).

I love the fact that Luke records that Jesus said “…to them all…” It is easy for those in leadership to expect from others what which they are unwilling to do themselves, “The scribes and the Pharisees sit in Moses' seat. Therefore whatever they tell you to observe, that observe and do, but do not do according to their works; for they say, and do not do. For they bind heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on men's shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers.” (Matthew 23:2-4). This was the condition of those in leadership in Jesus day – expecting others to do what they were unwilling to do themselves; actually, what they considered to be beneath them. One of my predecessors wouldn’t even empty his own trashcan because he was “giving himself to prayer and the study of the scriptures.”

Jesus, in qualifying His followers, spoke of death – the death of self: “…let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily…” Now the cross spoke of death. The only man who carried a cross was one who was condemned to death. There is no mistaking the words of Jesus here: if one is going to follow Him, one must die to self and the desire for greatness, respect, power, worship – honor from men.

And we notice that this denying of self, this death of self, is to be daily. We need to be reminded often, every day that we are to die to self. I believe that this is because of the overwhelming temptation of the flesh to seek greatness. When James and John were jockeying for position in the future kingdom, Mark records that the other ten were greatly displeased with James and John for doing so. (I personally believe that they real anger was in the fact that they had not thought of it first and that James and John just beat them to the punch).

Jesus went on to lay out the heavenly criteria for leadership, Mark 10:42-45: “You know that those who are considered rulers over the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you shall be your servant. And whoever of you desires to be first shall be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.”

The last night of His life, Jesus washed the feet of the disciples because none of them were willing to do so. Luke tells us (Luke 22:24-27) that they were arguing amongst themselves about who would be the greatest. Warren Wiersbe comments of this: “So why didn’t any of the disciples do this first? Any of the disciples would have gladly washed Jesus feet. But they could not wash His without having to be available to wash the other’s feet, and that would have been an intolerable admission of inferiority among their fellow competitors for the top positions in the disciples’ hierarchy. So no one’s feet got washed.”

True servanthood once again, according to Jesus, is in giving your life in service to others. God help us to know that and to do that, for a life given in service to others is not only honorable in the sight of God, but is the only life that is truly blessed, John 13:16-17: “Most assuredly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master; nor is he who is sent greater than he who sent him. If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them.”

But as one was cutting down a tree, the iron ax head fell into the water; and he cried out and said, "Alas, master! For it was borrowed." So the man of God said, "Where did it fall?" And he showed him the place. So he cut off a stick, and threw it in there; and he made the iron float. Therefore he said, "Pick it up for yourself." So he reached out his hand and took it. II Kings 6:5-7, NKJV

The axe-head seemed hopelessly lost, and as it was borrowed, the honor of the prophetic band was likely to be imperiled, and so the name of their God to be compromised. Contrary to all expectation, the iron was made to mount from the depth of the stream and to swim; for things impossible with man are possible with God…Beloved reader, what is thy desperate case? What heavy matter hast thou in hand this evening? Bring it hither. The God of the prophets lives, and lives to help His saints. He will not suffer thee to lack any good thing. Believe thou in the Lord of hosts! Approach Him pleading the name of Jesus, and the iron shall swim; thou too shalt see the finger of God working marvels for His people. According to thy faith be it unto thee, and yet again the iron shall swim. Charles Spurgeon


On September 29th I was taken to the hospital by ambulance, having lost the ability to walk. I had herniated my L5 disk and the hernia was placing pressure on the sciatic nerve. By far, it was the worst pain of my life.

On October 4th I was operated on and a hernia the size of a quarter and as thick as a poker chip was removed from my back. Within an hour of my surgery, I was once again walking.

My doctor, Christopher Barry (whom I had never met) is a committed Christian. In spite of a very busy schedule, he took my case and operated. For the first time in 21 years, I am free from back pain. I shall ever be indebted to Dr. Barry and his nurse, Robin Justice for their kindness and care.

When I left the hospital, we were more than $35,000 in debt. My insurance company did not cover this injury due to a previous back injury. The chaplain for Midwest Regional Medical Center, Richard Chew, championed my case, and the hospital reduced my bill to $11,600. In turn, all of my medical bills were reduced by the same amount, 60%.

The congregation I am privileged to pastor, took up my case and donated more that $6,400 to assist my medical bills. We were left with a debt of $7,100. Last week, after reviewing our case, the hospital told us that if we could come up with $1,200 they would forgive the remaining debt. The money came in, and tomorrow, we will give them a check.

My axe head floated. The God of the Prophets lives; not just in a exhortation by Charles Spurgeon, but in my life. I would like to say that I have great faith, but that would not be true. Yet even in time of doubt and uncertainty, He remains the same.

In my last blog I had a couple of errors that made me look like an uneducated idiot, which if you know me, is pretty much who I am. My good friend Kelly graciously pointed out my errors, for which I am grateful. Being approachable is a quality that I think I have (and apparently Kelly thinks so as well).

Being approachable is not a gift of the Spirit, but I believe that it is a spiritual gift. If you think about it, most people are not approachable; we don't like others pointing out things in our lives that are obvious to others but oblivious to us. Most of the time we go around thinking that we are really together when in fact, we aren't. Thank God for the Kelly's in this world who carefully and graciously point out what we need pointed out.

We don't always have it together. In fact most of the time we are barely hanging on. Most days I feel like the guy who has a six pack (of ROOT Beer, people), but lacks the little plastic thingy that holds it all together.

So, Lord make me more like my friend Kelly. Now, about that problem you have...

Well, Doug got his new kidney Sunday before Christmas. At times like this there are mixed emotions. First, the donated kidney was from a woman who was killed. Our deepest sympathy's go out to her family, whoever they may be. Their loss can only be imagined if you have not gone through it. However, we are grateful for their gift of life to Doug. Without this kidney he could not of survived.

As I said in my last blog, Cindy was preparing to donate one of her kidneys, but as it turns out it was not necessary. However, God did indeed use her in a wonderful way. Doug was losing heart; he had become so discouraged that he wondered if he was going to get a kidney or if he was going to die. So Cindy's real gift to Doug was hope. What a wonderful gift, for that is what our Heavenly Father has given us in Jesus Christ - the gift of hope.

Doug is a new man. Speaking to his wife and him I said, "God has given you a second chance at life." To which he replied, "Yes; I hope I don't blow it."

With a new year, the same is true for all of us...

“Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends.” John 15:13, NKJV

We have in the fellowship, a man with polycystic kidney disease. His name is Doug. If you don’t know about this it is insidious. The kidneys are filled with polyps that continue to grow, increasing the size of the kidney several times its original size. Doug needed to have one of his diseased kidneys removed last year – it weighed 26 lbs. A few months ago, his remaining kidney failed and he has started dialysis, which is another great difficulty in his life. Three times a week he is required to undergo dialysis, which leaves him exhausted.

We have been praying for his healing and continue to do so. However, a recent development has given him new hope. One of the ladies in the fellowship has come forward volunteering a kidney. At a ladies retreat the Lord spoke to her and she believed that she should offer to give life to another. She asked me to tell the congregation as she was concerned she could not do it without crying.

They underwent compatibility tests this week and we are awaiting results. This will be a painful undertaking for her, yet she is committed to being faithful. Well keep you updated on the progress…

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite times of year for many reasons. It ushers in cooler weather. (Thank God the heat is gone!). My sinuses like the change in seasons (No more ragweed!). I love turkey! Turkey gravy, turkey stuffing, turkey soup, turkey leftovers, turkey sandwiches, turkey…oh, you get it!

Like every year, most Americans will gather around their tables with their families and eat turkey. Many will give thanks. However, some will not. Some have been beaten down by this life to the point of ingratitude. The trials of this life have left many angry and bitter.

Often, the Christian is tempted to be angry and bitter. After all, the Christian life is difficult. In fact, it is impossible without the power of the Holy Spirit to give us strength.

Paul wrote, “in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (I Thessalonians 5:18, NKJV). Notice that we are to give thanks in everything, not for everything. There are many things in this life we are not thankful for – the death of a loved one, injury to a child, and so on. However, in these things we can give thanks! How is that possible?

A Bible study my pastor (Chuck Smith) has taught over the years (which I have taught as well) provides for us the way we can give thanks in everything.

In order to give thanks in everything we must know three things.

1. We must know that God loves us. Circumstance often does not tell me this. The only way I can know this is from the Word. “Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so.”

2. We must know that God is in control. Again, circumstance does not tell me this. Often things seem so out of control. But the truth is that in spite of what is seen, God is in control!

3. We must know that God is wiser that us. Well, duh! This should be a slam dunk for us, except we often question if God knows what He is doing by challenging our circumstances. Thus, we question the wisdom of God in allowing our circumstances.

If we are going to give thanks in everything, we must know these three things; not from our circumstances, but from His word.

Remember, God is always working behind the scenes, His plan and His purposes. He began His work in your life Christian and He will finish it, “being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.” (Philippians 1:6, NKJV)

Pretty cool, huh?

“I know, O LORD, that Your judgments are right, and that in faithfulness You have afflicted me.” Psalms 119:75, NKJV

Twenty one years ago, in Edmonton, Ontario, Canada, I injured my back in an industrial accident. (That sounds better than I lifted something too heavy in a wrong way). The result was I tore a disc (L5, for all you pre-med students; the lowest disc in your back, for the rest of us dummies). The result of tearing the disc was swelling of the disc that put pressure on my sciatic nerve, causing a burning pain in my left leg and back. Little did I realize that over the next twenty one years, this simple, stupid injury, would result in one of the most painful episodes of my life. Not content to learn from my mistake, over the years I continued to abuse my back, suffering repeated episodes of pain followed by periods of relative comfort.

About the 1st of September, 2007, I decided to lift up my mowing deck to clean and sharpen the blades. (250 lbs, but only 125 lbs. as I stood it up on it’s side). That afternoon, I felt a discomfort in my left hamstring. (I thought that I had pulled my hamstring muscle). Over the next month the discomfort led to an increasing inability to use my left leg. Finally, on September 29th I lost the ability to walk. I called for the Elders to come an pray for me, and I immediately felt strong enough to walk. However, I was far from well.

That afternoon I once again lost the ability to walk. My wife called the ambulance and I was soon admitted to the hospital for back surgery. Four days later, on Thursday afternoon, I underwent back surgery to remove the herniated area from the damaged disc. Immediately upon walking up from surgery, I felt a significant improvement. (Now, in the emergency room they injected me with 5 different kinds of painkillers in an effort to elevate the pain – nothing worked. I was finally put on a morphine drip followed by morphine injections every four hours that only made the pain tolerable). Now, after surgery, for the first time in years I have no back pain. My surgeon, opened my back, spread the muscle (instead of cutting and weakening the back) and through micro-surgery, removed a hemorrhage the size of a quarter, about the thickness of a poker chip. (or so I am told – I did not see it, but one of my friends who was with my wife after the surgery wanted to know the name of the alien that was removed from my back. Most hemorrhages are about the size of the tip of your little finger. Leave it to me to do it up big).

My surgeon is a committed Christian; a warm, godly man, who considers his work his ministry. I believe that the surgery and subsequent full recovery I am expected to make is nothing short of miraculous. Within an hour, I was up and walking after having my spine exposed to the atmosphere. The next day, I went home from the hospital!

I know why the Lord did not heal me at home when the Elders laid hands on me. I met so many wonderful people in the hospital; people I was able to witness to, encourage, and pray for. I even got to witness to a Muslim man with whom I had a very warm and wonderful conversation about Jesus.

I now have the responsibility to care for my back for the rest of my life. I am committed to proper back care. My injury was completely preventable; I chose to lift things beyond my ability in an improper manner over a long period of time. The end result was inevitable.

I continue to be awestruck by the goodness of God. Never did I not know the presence of God with me. I knew from the moment I entered the emergency room that God had a plan, beyond my comprehension, even though this was largely a problem of my own making.

I thank God for my wife, my dear sweet darling, who wept as I cried out in pain. I thank God for my two darling daughters, Rachel (Austin, TX) and Naomi (OKC). I thank God for my friends and for the members of the congregation of Fellowship Bible Church for their prayers and for the fellowship in the Lord. I thank God for friends who enlisted the prayers of the churches they attend on my behalf. I thank God for the members of Christian Rods and Customs, who prayer for me. I thank God for the Choctaw Fire Department who helped me to the gurney and into the ambulance. I thank God for the two EMT’s who kept apologizing for the bumps in the road as they drove me to the hospital. I thank God for the emergency room personal and for the staff, nurses, and doctors of Midwest Regional Medical Center. I thank God for Richard Chew, the chaplain of the hospital who championed my case before the hospital administration. I thank God for Dr. Christopher Barry and Robyn his nurse and faithful assistant, with whom I fully intend to have a life long friendship – in whom I saw the love of Jesus Christ faithfully manifested towards someone they did not even know. But I am not surprised, as they take seriously the words of Jesus, “…inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.” (Matthew 25:40, NKJV).

Most of all I thank my Heavenly Father, who loved me by sending His Son for me. And for My Savior Jesus, who loved me and gave Himself for me…for me.

Depression...the secret suffering. I call it this because depression has has a stigma attached to it in Christian circles for so long.

The Bible speaks of two kinds of illnesses, physical and spiritual. Depression can be caused by both. Sometimes the enemy of our faith will attack us spiritually, seeking to cause us to doubt God and His promises. The result can be depression. Also, a chemical imbalance in the brain can result in depression. In cases like this, prayer and medicine can, and often do, bring healing.

Now I know that there are unscrupulous councilors out there who have invented illness just so they can keep their offices full. I personally know of cases where councilors have told people (once their insurance ran out) that they can no longer help them.

My conviction, based upon the Word, is that the only councilor qualified to minister to the Christian, is a Christian councilor. Psalms 1:1, "Blessed is the man Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly..." (NKJV). Psalms 33:11, "The counsel of the LORD stands forever." (NKJV).

I have suffered with depression for most of my life. At one time I thought that it was a lack of faith or a lack of spirituality, until I read that the great preacher, Charles Surgeon suffered from debilitating depression. King David also suffered, "Why are you cast down , O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me?...O my God, my soul is cast down within me..." Psalms 42:5-6, NKJV.

David overcame his depression by remembering God, His faithfulness and His promises. After his hometown was raided and the women and children carried away, his men spoke of stoning him. We read, "Now David was greatly distressed, for the people spoke of stoning him , because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and his daughters. But David strengthened himself in the LORD his God." I Samuel 30:6, NKJV.

David was able to encourage himself in the Lord. Others often require medication. I believe that the technology to produce these medications is a gift from God; a miracle really.

The reason more people (and pastor's, for that matter) suffer in secret is that they are afraid of what people may think; a very real fear, for being ignorant of depression, they often think less of those who suffer.

Let us reach out in love to those who suffer from depression, so that they no longer need to suffer in silence anymore.

“but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, because it is written, ‘Be holy, for I am holy.’” (I Peter 1:15-16, NKJV)

Holiness is a lost virtue in the Christian church today. Everywhere around us we read of the moral failure of pastors and congregants alike. It seems that we are willing to tolerate sin, even to the point of excusing it. There are, I believe, a number of reasons for this:

1. The Eternal Security of the Believer. I have often heard the phrase, “Once saved, always saved.” Now I believe in the eternal security of the believer; but I also believe that one must be certain they are a true believer before they start claiming eternal security. The Apostle John wrote: “If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth.” (I John 1:6, NKJV). John is telling us that if we profess to be a Christian, that we are in fellowship with Jesus, if we continue to walk in darkness, i.e., continue to live in habitual sin as before, we are lying.

2. A Tolerance for Sin. We seem willing to tolerate sinful activity in our lives. Many think nothing of sexual activity outside of marriage. The Bible calls this fornication. Many think nothing of stealing time from work by standing around when they are supposed to be working. Many think nothing of lying; gossiping; slandering; you name it, we are often willing to tolerate it.

3. An Improper View of Grace. Many have the view that grace is a license to sin. We are saved by grace and we are kept by grace, so it doesn’t really matter what we do, because “there’s Grace.” (This view has been called by some as “cheap grace” in that it takes lightly the price paid for God to be gracious towards us).

4. A Loss of Our First Love Relationship with Jesus. Jesus spoke to the church in Ephesus: “I know your works, your labor, your patience, and that you cannot bear those who are evil. And you have tested those who say they are apostles and are not, and have found them liars; and you have persevered and have patience, and have labored for My name's sake and have not become weary. Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love.” (Revelation 2:2-4, NKJV). The had it going on. They were doing all the right things. The had works; they were intolerant of evil; they tested all things by the Word; but they were no longer motivated by love and they were no longer in love with Jesus.

5. Replacing Jesus with the Programs of Men. Again Jesus spoke to the church in Revelation 3:20: “Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me.” Now this verse is usually associated with evangelism, which is perfectly appropriate. However, in its context, Jesus is pushed outside the church knocking on the door to be let in! Why is that? It is because the church no longer has any room for Him. He has been replaced by the programs and methods of men.

So how do we get to the point where we can start again? To begin, we must begin at the beginning:

1. We must be Certain that We Are Indeed Believers. Have we really given our lives to Jesus? True repentance brings life change, II Corinthians 5:17, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” (NKJV). As true believers, the Holy Spirit will produce in us life change. The old things of the world will fall away, and be replaced by the new things of the Spirit. Is the Holy Spirit working in our lives making us new creatures? Is He producing in our lives the fruit of the Spirit, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control…” (Galatians 5:22-23, NKJV). Are we growing in love? In joy? In peace? In longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and in self-control? If not then perhaps we need to start at the beginning and confess our sins and ask Jesus to be our Lord and Savior. Or, if you are a Christian, perhaps it is time to re-dedicate your life to Jesus?

2. We Must no Longer Tolerate Sin. God has given us His Spirit to be witnesses and at to live holy lives before Him. Paul said: “For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace.” (Romans 6:14, NKJV). It has been reported that the fastest growing sin in the church is internet pornography. Many are under the bondage of this sin, unable to break free. Yet the Bible tell us how to become free from the bondage of sin, Romans 8:13:”…if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.” (NKJV). Surrender to the Holy Spirit the bondage you are in; confess your utter inability to conquer it; and allow the Spirit to put to death the bondage of sin in your life.

3. Allow the Spirit of God to Produce in Us A Proper view of Grace. The grace of God came at an awful price, the death of the Only Begotten Son of God. That is the price the Father paid so that we could be saved by His grace. When we think of the grace of God we should also think of the cost of that grace – the slaughter of the Son of God. And consider the price paid before we decide to sin capriciously.

4. Seek Jesus Again as Our First Love. Just as Jesus told the church at Ephesus what to do, He tells us as well, Revelation 2:5: “Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works…” (NKJV)

Remember: We are to remember when we first met Jesus; the love we had for Him; the joy we had spending time with Him in prayer, in the word, in fellowship with other Christians (Church); the joy we had in serving Him.

Repent. This is a command to change direction, to go a different way. We are to turn around, turn away from our sin and turn towards Him once again. Would we be comfortable doing the things that we do if Jesus were with us while we do them? If not, then we need to turn away from it and turn towards Him. (Remember, Jesus is with us always by His Spirit; see hears every thought and sees every action).

Repeat (do the first works): Spend time in prayer and in the Word every day. Return to a Bible believing Church and get involved in fellowship and in service. (A coal removed from the fire will quickly die; but once placed again into the fire will quickly burn again). Remember the joy we had in telling others about Jesus? We need to do this again. Once we did all this because we loved Jesus more than anything. Let us return to that first love relationship where Jesus is our all and our everything.

5. Throw Out The Programs and Methods of Men and Seek the Spirit’s Guidance in the Church. Seek again the guidance of the Holy Spirit in worship, in Bible study, in fellowship. Acknowledge His leadership once again in all matters. And seek His leading and guidance in all matters. The Church is losing it’s effectiveness because we have replaced Him with our programs and methods. Let us repent and turn again to Him, inviting Him to come into our fellowships in power and strength once again.

Lest we should be discouraged in our desire for holiness, we must remember that God says, “…Be holy, for I am holy…”; He does not say, “be holy as I am holy,” for that would be impossible for us.

We will struggle against sin. We are tempted by the enemy of our faith as well as by our own sinful desires that struggle in our flesh. Paul tells us that this struggle will continue, “For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish.” (Galatians 5:17, NKJV). However, he also told us how to resist in verse 16: “I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.” Walking in the Spirit is walking in fellowship with the Spirit, seeking His guidance in everything, seeking in everything we say or do His counsel. And seeking His power on a daily basis to do the will of God and to walk in, “…holiness, without which no one will see the Lord.” (Hebrews 12:14, NKJV).

"But whoever has this world's goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him?" I John 3:17, NKJV

This is an interesting verse. We usually interpret it from our perspective, that if we have the opportunity and the resources, we are to reach out to others with our material goods. In doing so, we are actually demonstrating in deeds the faith we profess with our words.

John goes on to tell us: "My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth. And by this we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before Him." (Verse 18-19, NKJV). Proof that we are true believers is that we put our faith into action by our deeds, assuring our hearts that we really do know Him.

However, today I offer an additional perspective, one that we may not of considered before.

• God has this world’s goods (and beyond – “For every beast of the forest is Mine, And the cattle on a thousand hills," Psalms 50:50, NKJV).

• He saw our need for salvation, sending Jesus to provide for our forgiveness and healing. Also, He sees our daily needs, and provides for us in every way.

• He has not shut up His compassionate heart, but has overflowed His love towards us in every way.

• Thus our God has demonstrated His love for us in every way.

What a wonderful God we serve. He is infinitely good towards us, without measure.